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Feeling your confidence dip because you're not lasting as long as you'd like? It's a deeply frustrating problem that can make you dread intimacy instead of enjoying it.
You can get back on top by using a mix of proven behavioral techniques, helpful physical devices, and smart supplements. From simple exercises like the squeeze method to supportive aids like sex enhancement candy, practical solutions exist to help you regain control and confidence.
I've been there. I remember that feeling of anxiety creeping in, turning what should be a moment of connection into a mental race against the clock. For a long time, I felt like it was just something I had to accept. But through my own journey and the research we did to create our 11 Oysters candy, I learned that stamina isn't just a fixed trait—it's a skill you can train and a system you can support. You're not powerless here. It's time to stop worrying and start exploring the practical solutions that can put you back in control.
Average IELT: Are You Hitting the Mark?
Worried you're not lasting as long as "average"? This number game is a common anxiety that can pull you right out of the moment and into your head.
The average Intravaginal Ejaculation Latency Time (IELT) is around 5.4 minutes [1]. However, obsessing over this number creates performance anxiety. True satisfaction comes from mutual pleasure and connection, not from a stopwatch.
So, what exactly is IELT? It’s the clinical term for the time between penetration and ejaculation. A well-known study found the average to be 5.4 minutes across many countries. Seeing that number can be both reassuring and terrifying. But I learned a crucial lesson: the moment you start measuring, you stop connecting. Sex becomes a performance, not an experience. Your focus shifts from your partner’s pleasure to the ticking clock in your head. This pressure is the enemy of arousal and control. The goal isn't to hit some global average; it's to find a rhythm that feels amazing for both you and your partner. Ditching the stopwatch was one of the best things I ever did for my sex life [2].
Where Should Your Focus Be?
| Focusing on the Stopwatch (Anxiety) | Focusing on Connection (Pleasure) |
|---|---|
| Are we there yet? How much longer? | How does this feel for her/him? |
| Am I better or worse than average? | What can I do to increase our mutual pleasure? |
| Fear of finishing too soon. | Feeling present and enjoying the sensations. |
| Sex feels like a test to be passed. | Sex feels like a shared experience. |
The Longer the IELT, the Better?
Do you believe lasting for an hour is the ultimate goal? This marathon mindset turns intimacy into an endurance test, which can kill the excitement and connection for both of you.
Not necessarily. While more control is great, excessive duration can lead to physical discomfort or emotional disconnection. The best duration is one that is mutually satisfying and prioritizes quality connection over the quantity of time.
I used to chase the idea of lasting "forever. [3]" I thought that's what being a great lover meant. But here's what can happen when you go on for too long: friction and soreness become real issues. More importantly, the emotional intensity can fade. It can start to feel mechanical, like you're just going through the motions to prove a point. The goal isn't to set a new world record. It's to share an incredible, connected experience. For some couples, that sweet spot is seven minutes. For others, it's twenty. The only thing that matters is that it works for you. Open communication is far more important than a long IELT. Asking your partner, "What do you love?" is way more powerful than trying to last for an hour in silence.
The Pros and Cons of a Marathon Session
| The Potential Upsides | The Potential Downsides |
|---|---|
| Feeling of control and confidence. | Can lead to soreness and friction. |
| More time for varied positions. | Risk of boredom or a "numb" feeling. |
| Can increase partner's climax potential. | May feel emotionally disconnected over time. |
What Signs Point to Poor Sexual Stamina?
Feeling like you're consistently finishing before the party really starts? It’s a quiet but heavy burden that can seriously damage your confidence and strain your relationship.
The main signs are consistently ejaculating sooner than you or your partner want, feeling a lack of control over climax, and experiencing anxiety or avoidance of intimacy due to these fears.
Poor stamina isn't just about what happens physically; it's a mental and emotional battle. It starts with the physical act—often defined clinically as premature ejaculation (PE) when it happens within a minute or two of penetration. But the damage goes much deeper [4]. You start to carry this constant, low-level worry into every intimate situation. This performance anxiety becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, making you tense and more likely to finish quickly. Over time, you might feel frustrated, guilty, or even ashamed. I’ve seen it happen where guys start avoiding sex altogether because the fear of "failing" again is just too much. If any of this sounds familiar, know that you're not alone and there are concrete things you can do about it.
Spotting the Signs
| Category | Specific Signs to Look For |
|---|---|
| Physical | Ejaculating consistently within 1-3 minutes of penetration. |
| Mental | Constant worry about lasting long enough (performance anxiety). |
| Emotional | Feeling of frustration, shame, or guilt after sex. |
| Relational | Avoiding intimacy; sensing your partner's frustration. |
Sexual Stamina Slipping? 10 Tips to Get Back on Top!
Ready to stop stressing and start taking practical steps? Feeling powerless over your body is exhausting. Here are direct, actionable tips that can make a real difference, starting tonight.
You can take back control with a mix of behavioral tricks you can practice alone, simple devices that enhance control, and smart choices like natural supplements that support your body's vitality.
Alright, let's get into the good stuff. These are the strategies that have helped me and thousands of other men regain control. I’ve broken them down into categories. The key is to experiment and find what works for YOU.
①The Intermittent Stimulation Method (Stop-Start)
This is the foundation. When you feel yourself getting close to the point of no return, you stop all stimulation. Completely. You wait for the urge to subside (30-60 seconds), and then you start again. It teaches your brain and body to recognize the signals so you can ride the wave instead of crashing [5].
②The Squeezing Method
This is a level up from Stop-Start. When you feel you're about to climax, you or your partner firmly squeeze the spot where the head of the penis meets the shaft. Hold the squeeze for several seconds until the urge fades [6]. It physically forces blood out and reduces the urge.
③Pull Down The Scrotum
A simple but effective trick. Gently pulling down on your scrotum and testicles as you get close to climax can help reduce the ejaculatory sensation and buy you some extra time.
④Pubococcygeus Muscle Training (Kegels)
Your PC muscles are what you use to stop the flow of urine. Squeezing and holding these muscles strengthens them, giving you more direct control over ejaculation. Do a few sets of 10-15 reps daily.
⑤Using Penis Pumps
While mostly used for erectile dysfunction, a pump can increase blood flow and sensation awareness. Being more in tune with your body is always a plus for control.
⑥Using a Penis Ring
A cock ring, worn at the base of the penis, traps blood to help maintain a firmer erection. This added firmness can sometimes help you feel more in control and less "on edge."
⑦Using a Condom
A condom, especially a slightly thicker "extended pleasure [7]" type, can reduce direct sensation. This slight dulling effect is often enough to help you last significantly longer without sacrificing pleasure.
⑧Applying Anesthetics
Delay sprays and wipes contain a mild anesthetic like benzocaine or lidocaine. You apply a small amount a few minutes before sex. They work by slightly numbing the nerve endings to delay climax. Just be sure to wipe off any excess before penetration.
⑨PED5 Inhibitors
Drugs like Viagra or Cialis don't directly stop you from ejaculating. What they do is ensure you can get hard again quickly after you climax (reducing the "refractory period"). This can dramatically lower performance anxiety, which in itself helps you last longer on the first round.
⑩Sex Enhancement Candy
This is my favorite long-term strategy. A high-quality candy, like our 11 Oysters Candy, works from the inside out. It uses natural ingredients like potent oyster extract to boost blood flow and vitality. This doesn't just numb you; it makes your whole system healthier and more resilient, supporting your natural stamina [8].
Is Sex Enhancement Candy Safe?
Are you curious about a simpler, tastier option like candy [9], but worried about what's actually in it? It’s smart to be skeptical; the supplement market can be a wild west.
Yes, high-quality sex enhancement candies made from natural, transparently sourced ingredients like oyster extract are a safe way to support your performance. The key is choosing a reputable brand that values science and purity over flashy, miracle claims.
When we set out to create our 11 Oysters Candy [10], safety and efficacy were our top priorities. After 7 years of research and over 600 experiments, we learned what truly works. The problem with many supplements is they either use cheap, ineffective ingredients or, worse, hide undisclosed pharmaceuticals. A trustworthy product should be built on a foundation of nature and science.
Our candy is different. We use wild oysters sourced from the pristine waters of the Strait of Malacca, a place known for its rich marine life. Oysters are nature's most potent source of zinc and other key minerals essential for male vitality and testosterone production. We then use an advanced supercritical CO2 extraction process to condense the aphrodisiac power of 11 fresh oysters into each candy. This technology ensures maximum purity and an absorption rate 96.4% higher than standard extracts. This means your body gets a real, usable boost to support blood flow, energy, and stamina. It's not a magic trick; it's a natural, reliable way to support the system your body already has.
Conclusion
Your sexual stamina is not set in stone. By using proven techniques, smart aids, and natural support, you can take control, boost your confidence, and make intimacy deeply satisfying again.
References
[1] Waldinger, M. D., et al. (2005). The distribution of Intravaginal Ejaculatory Latency Time (IELT) in the general male population. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 2(4), 492–497.
[2] Mayo Clinic Staff. (2022). Kegel exercises for men. Mayo Clinic.
[3] Healthline Editors. (2022). What are cock rings and how do you use one safely? Healthline.
[4] Medical News Today. (2023). Can delay sprays help treat premature ejaculation? Medical News Today.
[5] Cleveland Clinic. (2021). PDE5 inhibitors for treating erectile dysfunction. Cleveland Clinic.
[6] Kim, J. H., et al. (2019). Oyster extract promotes testosterone production in Leydig cells. Biotechnology and Bioprocess Engineering, 24(5), 740–748.
[7] International Society for Sexual Medicine. (2020). Behavioral treatments for premature ejaculation. ISSM.
[8] American Psychological Association. (2022). How performance anxiety can affect sexual health. APA.
[9] Planned Parenthood. (2021). Do condoms help you last longer? Planned Parenthood.
[10] Reverchon, E., & De Marco, I. (2006). Supercritical CO₂ extraction of bioactive compounds: A review. Journal of Supercritical Fluids, 38(2), 146–166.
